i was paid to be here
Oct 19. 2019
YBCA 100 Symposium
In Summer 2019 I was honored to be included in the YBCA 100- a list put out by the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco that “is a celebration of an individual’s present efforts and acknowledgment that their work will have future impact.” I could not attend the symposium on Oct 19th, so hired a longtime colleague Rachael Dichter to attend as my proxy.
I wrote a monologue for her to deliver in my absence. We decided that she could decide to deliver it to the table she was seated at or create a scene and try to gather more audience around her.
Below is the monologue as well as Rachael’s notes and description of the event and her experience with the work. There are bolded all caps performance notes for Rachael in the text. There was no video taken.
i was paid to be here
-MECHANICAL-
Hi. Hi. My name is Rachael Dichter and this performance is just about 7 minutes.
-ENTHUSIATIC-
I’m being paid to be here today. I’m getting paid to be here today, I’m getting paid $100 to be here today. And to say these words. I’m a dancer. And I’m getting paid to be here.
I’m not on the list.
Mica Sigourney is on the list. Mica Sigourney hired me to be here today, to be, him- by proxy. He’s in Europe, dancing. Getting paid to be on stage, with his body and person.
I am getting paid to be here with my body and person- performing this piece.
This is me now. This is Mica’s words now. They’ve all been mine, but these are mine now.
Look- I love LOVE recognition and getting on lists, getting awards and honors. I love beefing up my CV and seeming super important- as recognized by arts organizations, that have buildings in one of the most expensive cities in the US and the World. I love a shared meal with colleagues and other “honorees” and the chance to feel a bit uplifted and special. Truly- I’m honored, geeked, jazzed.
I hired Rachael to be here for me-bc this is special- but I paid her. Because her time to be here is more valuable than the exposure or networking (networking is usually a form of unpaid immaterial labor expected of cultural workers). I’m curious if the YBCA workers here today are getting paid - THEY SHOULD bc this is work!
I don’t love capitalism, I don’t love “time=money” - I don’t love that my subjectivity is monetized. I don’t love that there’s not much time in my life to be “clocked out.” I don’t love that we are always working. Like I said I don’t love capitalism but I live within it and I seek to treat other artist’s fairly when they are doing labor- as fairly as my resources allow. Even if its fun and special labor.
Which Rachael is doing. She’s using her body, her time, her presence.
We were not paid to be here today. We were not paid to blast the internet or social media platforms with praise for this list but we were asked to. I was delivered a media toolkit to promote this list. But was not offered compensation or suggestion of compensation for my immaterial labor. I’ve worked super hard to build audience- and I was asked to offer that audience to YBCA. It’s complicated. I’m happy to work for free- as long as it’s acknowledged, that I’m working, In some way. When someone at YBCA emails me to tell me I’m on this list they are clocked in, I assume, and getting paid, my email responding is not paid- but it’s work.
YBCA isn’t bad. They aren’t trying to exploit artists. But this is a chance to point out some complexities.
Here.
Look.
Here
Look
Look-
-MECHANICAL-
Late stage capitalism and neoliberalism creates financial and other precarities for arts institutions and artists. The government isn’t doing the best job making sure artistic culture is vibrant in the US (shout out to the SFAC for being pretty rad funders)- so there’s precarity.
Precarity in me leads to a sense of scarcity which leads to a defensive crouch. Also a tit for tatt-ism, and constant running inventory of values and exchange. I believe that acknowledgement of our shared precarities, the limits and values of our time, social networks, resources of the large arts institution AND the artist can lead to nuanced, complicated and complex conversations and mutually beneficial relationships
-ENTHUSIASTIC-
I know this list is a feel good thing,
But it feels and seems like other things.
It seems like YBCA is borrowing our persons, personas, influence, street cred.
By putting out this mega list that includes Celebrities and non-Celebrities they loop us into a social collateral building project.
They say-
On this list, celebrities rub elbows with unsung heroes, and activists and artists are as revered as pop stars.
Popstars get paid. Way more, than unsung heros or activists. That’s their thing. They get paid in ways that many artists wish we got paid.
It seems that by positioning us in the same list as Lizzo, Ali Wong, Billy Porter (all faves-good job). YBCA ascribes power and status to itself as a designator of value within the unknown, underground or non-famous. YBCA ascribes itself - agency, right and privilege of naming and valuing cultural impact and potential. I’ll say it again. YBCA ascribes itself - agency, right and privilege of naming and valuing cultural impact and potential. Which creates a power dynamic between the institution that gives value to the artist, and the artist who receives that praise. Obviously with the power in the hands of the institution. Look it’s complicated.
It seems YBCA is saying “Look we lift up these community artists to the same level as these famous artists.” Which is good work and a good idea, but there’s no teeth to it. It’s a gesture on their part.
In the spirit of this list, which states
“Recognition as a YBCA 100 honoree is a celebration of an individual’s present efforts and acknowledgment that their work will have future impact,”
I would like to acknowledge that the list itself could have a real future impact- if it acts as a call to action, builds relationships between the institution and the local scenes, or even provides future gigs/employment/consultation.
Look I like this list. I like YBCA- I want this list to keep happening. But its important to recognize how often individual artists and activists, and small orgs are asked to do free immaterial labor- how this isn’t often seen as labor but is- that this labor uses up the resources of our time, energy and sometimes social collateral. I yearn for better bigger more complicated and riskier conversations between institutions and artists. And I think YBCA is up for this conversation- I mean they are putting out this rad list- so that means they care enough to look around and create new scales of value. Despite my absence I wanted to take this as a chance, maybe an uncomfortable chance to bring this up. It’s complicated.
So I end with questions:
The art institution has walls and a ceiling, has galleries and a theater, We have been invited here to enliven this space with our Selves- what will the institution do to enliven and support us moving forward?
What are resources artists have that can support the institution, what are resources the institution has that can support the artists?
Is there a way to extend this honor throughout the year?
What are ways that honorees can activate each other?
My questions go on forever, ad nauseum. I’m nauseous. Just kidding. The food is great. This whole thing is great. Really.
Thanks for taking time, or lending an ear. Hopefully we can talk.
Rachael’s Description
Mica hired me, asked me to be his proxy at the YBCA 100 event. He asked me to be his body there, to read a text that he wrote critiquing capitalism and art institutions and the free labor required of artists. It was a smart, complicated text. It felt timely and important. My reading it, even though I would be reading it for him felt complicated.
The idea was that I read the text during lunch, either just to my table, or maybe getting the attention of the whole room.
Prior to lunch there was a performance by speakers from the YBCA 100 list, and they were excellent and amazingly inspiring. The question that they were all working around was how can we center women’s well being. They were all folks of color, primarily women and trans activists and makers, including Adrienne Maree Brown, Amanda Nguyen, June Grant and Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, some presenting on their projects in a large scale for the first time, and it was amazingly inspiring the hear about all their work, ranging from grass roots organizing to promote legislation to protect and serve rape victims, designing and building affordable, beautiful in-law units to keep elders in their community, and queer black pleasure as resistance. I was really moved and inspired getting to hear about all this work, and left feeling like I wanted to give as much respect and space to these people and projects as possible.
During lunch there were also beautiful blessings given by the queer Ohlone couple who run mak-‘amham, an Ohlone cafe in Berkeley, and Marvin K. White the preacher at Glide Memorial Church, so when I found time between all the speakers to deliver the text it felt appropriate that it would be just to my table. The folks at my table, including a YBCA staff, the head of another small local arts organization, past YBCA 100 recipients and an older white man who quickly told the table that he felt underrepresented at the event, that he thought inclusivity should include everyone and he didn’t feel he was represented here, all listened and were appreciative and receptive to the text. The staff member from YBCA said that he was really happy to get this kind of feedback and wanted to bring it to the staff as a whole. Said it was timely and spot on. We didn’t end up having too much time to talk, but the table in general agreed, and the conversation, although short, felt important and useful, and like a good, small scale intervention into thought and the event.